


We Never Had a Chance (To Do Anything But Dance)

by siriuslyyellow



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Drama, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Foe Yay, I'm not sure what to tag this, My First Work in This Fandom, Necrophilia, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Work In Progress, Zombies, now officially AU, possibly OOC everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-20 10:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3647445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslyyellow/pseuds/siriuslyyellow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine shook his head, looked down for a moment, and then looked back up at her. "I didn't even mean to go on a tangent. The point is, I need you to be my girlfriend."</p><p>Liv blinked. "You... You what?"</p><p> </p><p>**</p><p>Spoiler warnings for episodes 1x01 and 1x02. This fic takes place after 1x02.</p><p>Rated M because I may try to make sex happen eventually, but either way, eating brains, bad language, and violence are almost a definite. Violence warning because of probable typical zombie behavior. Tagged necro because sex between zombies might be considered necro.</p><p>Please be aware: Ratings and warnings are complete and will be accurately updated as needed. (I'm actually pretty sure I missed some tags, but I don't think it's anything with triggers.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Consequences of a Missed Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first iZombie fic, and also the first fic I've written in a while. A Twitter conversation the other night (and the knowledge that, sadly, there are currently only 2 other iZombie fics on AO3) fueled the sudden urge to write iZombie fic. The tweet at me went like this: "Fic like the wind! Your fledgling fandom needs you!" So, yay? XD
> 
> Just to give everyone a fair heads up, I'm terribly bad at finishing fics, and since this is a WIP, who know if I'll ever finish it. However, I do have ideas in my head for the next few chapters, and I think it's gonna be short, so I'm hopeful it'll get done. XD
> 
> This is not beta read! If anyone sees any grammar errors, misspellings, more things that need to be tagged for, or anything else that should be fixed, please let me know!
> 
> Also, does anyone know what the name of the woman that Blaine turns in episode 2 is? I can't find it anywhere! -.-;
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it! ^__^*

When Blaine walked into the morgue the day after Liv had seen him in the alley, she was furious.

"Get out," she demanded, pointing at the door he had just walked in through.

But instead of doing as she said, Blaine held up his hands defensively. "Is that any way to treat your new zombie friend?" The he mumbled, "Your ONLY zombie friend, I might add."

Liv nodded, hard and fast. "Yes, yes it is." She motioned towards the door with her head. "Get out before I call the cops."

Blaine's head reared back. "What? Why? I haven't done anything to you."

"You turned me into a zombie!" Liv's left hand flew up into the air of it's own accord.

Tilting his head from to the side in acknowledgement, Blaine replied, "Well, yeah, but it's not like you're going to tell THEM that."

Groaning, Liv ran a hand down her face. "That's not the point, and you know it."

Blaine laughed a little, and shook his head. "I honestly have no idea what you're talknig about."

Liv's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, really? So you DON'T remember meeting some thugs in the alley yesterday?"

Blaine hed up his hands and shook them a little, indictating she had the wrong idea. "That wasn't what it looked like."

Liv snorted. "That's bullshit."

Blaine's eyebrows drew together. "No, it's true."

"It isn't true. Do you think I'm an idiot? Well, obviously, you must, since you're back here after you specifically told me you cut all the poisonous people out of your life. And how DARE you come back here!" Liv's eyes flashed with red for a moment.

Blaine held up his hands in defense. "Liv, wait. Just listen to me, okay? I came here because you never brought the brains yesterday."

Liv's right hand shot up in the air. "I was bringing them to you when I saw you with those thugs! How do you think I knew you were with them?"

Blaine gave her a weak smile and tried to joke, "Maybe you ate some of my brains and knew through my memory?" Liv gave him a cold, level stare. She was not amused. He grimaced. "Alrghit, relax, I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

"Lighten the mood? LIGHTEN THE MOOD? Seriously, just get the fuck out." Liv turned her back on him.

Jogging a little to to get in front of her, Blaine faced Liv again. "No, wait. I have a favor I need to ask you."

Liv let out one incredulous laugh. "No."

Blaine held out his hands. "You haven't even heard what it is yet!"

"I know I'm going to say no." Liv turned her back on him again.

Blaine got in front of Liv again. "Come on, just hear me out."

Liv put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "Why should I?"

"Because," Blaine began in a convincing voice. But then he cleared his throat and tried again in a more sincere tone. "Because if after hearing my offer you don't want to help me, I won't come back to the morgue again." He tilted his head as if to allow for discrepancies. "Well, unless I'm DEAD dead, or something."

Liv gave him a weighing look, then shook her head. "That's not good enough."

"What?" Blaine looked at her, confused. "Then what do you want?"

Liv crossed her arms over her chest. "If I hear your offer and I say no, you have to agree to not ever come to the morgue again AND to never bother me or anyone I know ever again."

Blaine snorted. "I can't promise that."

Liv rolled her eyes. "Why not?"

Blaine shot a hand up into the air. "Because I can't help it if we pass each other on the street. We live in the same city! And I don't know everyone you know. I could talk to someone you know accidentally."

After thinking this over for a minute, Liv replied, 'Okay. So then if I don't agree to help you, you need to move out of town."

Blaine's eyes widened quickly. "What?! That's ridiculous."

"You're right." Liv nodded. Blaine smiled. Liv smirked. "Out of state is better."

BLaine snorted. "If you think I'm moving out of state just because you want me to, you've got another thing coming."

"Then I guess you're not getting my help." Liv held up her hands, and quickly jerked her head in the aggresive universal signal for 'What are you gonna do about it?'

Blaine chewed his lower lip for a few moments, clearly considering his options. Then he sighed, and held his hands up in defeat. "Alright, fine, you win. If you don't agree to help me, I'll move out of state." He quickly held up his pointer finger. "BUT you need to listen to my offer. The whole thing. And then you can decide."

Liv put a bored expression on her face, then nodded and waved her right hand for him to continue.

Blaine took a deep breathe, then launched into his story. "I have a... woman problem." Liv snorted. Blaine held up his hand. "Come on, let me finish." Liv waved at him to go ahead. He continued, "Right. So. I did something stupid." Liv bit her tongue to keep hersefl from interrupting. "I picked up a woman at a bar and turned her into a zombie and now she thinks we're destined to be together."

Liv's head flew back. 'Wait, you did WHAT?!"

Blaine nodded. "I know, I know. But in my defense, it was a flawless plan! It wasn't my fault she's clingy. I just wanted to turn her then make her pay me to give her brains. That's all. No harm, no foul."

"Blaine, you KILLED her!" Liv shouted.

Blaine shook his head and shouted back defensively, "I did NOT kill her! Are we dead?"

"YES!" Liv shouted. Then she paused, took a deep breath, and said, "Yes, Blaine. We ARE dead."

He shook his head fervently. "I don't believe that." He took a step forward, and Liv took took an irritated step back to keep her distance. "We can think, we can feel, we're stronger, and I'm pretty sure we can't be killed. Liv, we're not dead. We're BETTER."

Liv shook her head. "You're crazy. Ravi's trying to find a cure. Why would he be trying to cure us if we were so much better?"

Blaine waved a hand in the air. "Because who wouldn't want to find the cure for zombies? It would make him rich! And famous! AND it would make sure to keep the 'status quo' intact." Blaine used air quotes to show his disgust with the idea. "Think about it, Liv. Just THINK! Of COURSE he wants to cure us. We could RULE the WORLD."

Liv was waving her hands in front of her and shaking her head. "No. No, Blaine. You're wrong. What we are is sick. We need to be cured."

"Haven't you experienced more now, eating brains, than you've ever experienced before in your whole life? I know I have," Blaine replied with certainty.

"Yeah, but-" Liv began.

But Blaine cut her off. "What's wrong with me sharing that gift with others? And if I make a profit off of it, well, why not? I'm giving them something far greater than they ever would have had if I hadn't come along."

"Is that how you feel about what you did to me?! That you helped ME?!" Liv shouted at him, furious.

Blaine took a step back. "Not at first, no. But now... Yeah. I do think that way." Liv let out an incredulous breath and turned away from him, but he went around to face her again. "This is special, Liv. Really, really special. We shouldn't waste our powers because we're worried about morality. Fuck morality."

Liv shook her hands. "No. You're wrong. Just finish what you have to say and then leave."

Blaine shook his head, looked down for a moment, and then looked back up at her. "I didn't even mean to go on a tangent. The point is, I need you to be my girlfriend."

Liv blinked. "You... You what?"


	2. Consequences of Having a Conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The deal was struck. Not that she had a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of the comments and kudos! I really appreciate it! <3
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, too. ^__^*

Before Blaine could reply, Liv blinked at him, sure that she misheard him, and echoed her sentiment again. "You want me to what?"

Blaine held up his hands for her to wait. "I know, it sounds crazy."

"Yeah, it does," Liv replied shortly.

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "You've done nothing but throw accusations at me since I got here."

Liv laughed. "Oh, have I? Gee, I wonder why."

Blaine tilted his head in exasperation. "You said you would hear me out. Will you at least do that?" Liv sighed, but nodded. She crossed her arms over her chest as he continued speaking. "Thank you. Now, listen. I need you to do this for me. The woman that I turned, she... Well, she thinks that we're meant to be or something. I tried telling her I was just after her money, but she thinks she can reform me or some bullshit. I can't get rid of her. This is the only way."

Liv's eyebrows furrowed. "You want me to be your girlfriend because you don't know how to tell this lady to back off?"

Blaine shook his head and laughed. "What? No! God no. I want you to PRETEND to be my girlfriend. I think once she sees us together she'll get the message and back off all on her own."

"But we can't stand each other," Liv replied.

Blaine tilted his head. "Hey, that's not true." Liv raised her eyebrows. "Okay, maybe it's a little true," Blaine conceded. "But it's too harsh. I can stand you. I can stand you just fine."

Liv smirked, amused. "No, you can't."

Blaine took a step forward and replied earnestly, "Yes, I can."

Liv rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. I can't stand you, so it won't work." Blaine hesitated. Liv had the feeling he was hiding something that would really piss her off, and her expression grew dark. "What?"

"I... sort-of already told her that you and I were a thing," Blaine replied quickly.

Liv's eyes grew wide and she shouted, "WHAT? Blaine, wh-"

Blaine cut her off. "I knew you were gonna be mad!"

Liv snorted. "Obviously! You're practically a stranger and-"

Blaine cut her off again. "That's why I didn't ask you first! I knew you'd say no."

Liv held up her hand to stop him. "This is not my problem, Blaine. It's YOUR problem."

Blaine bit his lower lip. "It kind-of is your problem now, too."

Liv narrowed her eyes. "What? Why?"

"I told her your name and where you work," Blaine answered.

Liv threw her hands up in the air. "Why would you do that?!"

"Because if she's going after you, too, then that's a great reason for us to work together." Blaine tried to give her a grin. Her look told him it didn't work. "Come on, it's a good plan!"

"It's a terrible plan, and you know it!" Liv shook her head. "Whatever. It still doesn't matter. If she comes here, I'll tell her you lied. Easy. Solved. Goodbye. Enjoy your move!" Liv went to push him towards the door.

Blaine locked his legs so it would be harder for her to push him, and he held up his hands for her to wait. "You haven't heard everything yet!"

Liv shook her head. "I don't care."

"Come on, you promised!" Blaine tried.

"I did no such thing. I told you I'd hear you out, and I did. We're done now." Liv tried to push him again.

Blaine moved a little, but kept talking. "If you don't help me with this, I'm just going to start over in another city! I'll turn other people and make them pay me to give them brains! You don't want that, do you?" Liv stopped pushing him. He grinned, looking like he thought he won. "I know you don't."

"I'll call the cops. They'll arrest you." Liv replied quickly.

His grin turned malicious. "What for? For giving food out? Because that's what brains are for us--food. They can't argue I'm dealing drugs anymore. I'm not." He put himself into her personal space, looked down at her and lowered his voice threateningly. "Let's say they believe you, and I get charged with grave robbing or some other bullshit. Then they take one look at you," he paused to lightly pushed her hair out of her eyes with two fingers, and she flinched and pulled her head back. His cutting grin widened, and he continued, "and they know you're a zombie too. Even if they don't figure it out, I'll tell them. What are you going to do then? Are you going to get arrested with me for cannibalizing corpses? Maybe they'll put you in a lab and take you apart piece by piece to find out how the fuck zombies are real. Or maybe they think you're lying and you wind you in a pysch ward." He paused, clearly for dramatic effect, then gave a little shrug and added as an after-thought, "Or I could kill them all before they know what happened to them." He lifted his head up and took a step back, smirk planted firmly in place. "Face it, you're stuck with me."

Liv took a step back to put more distance between them. She was rattled, but she didn't want him to know it. "I could kill you myself."

"You could, but you won't." He sounded so sure, and it really pissed her off. They both knew he was right.

Liv began to pace back and forth, shaking her head. "This is insane." She stopped and pointed at him. "I'll make sure Ravi doesn't cure you!"

Blaine laughed. "There's not a cure."

Liv shook her head fervently. "There will be. He's going to find one. And when he does, I'll make sure he doesn't give it to you."

"I don't even want to be cured, Liv. Being a zombie is the best thing that's ever happened to me," Blaine replied simply.

Her eyes hardened. "Then I'll force you to take the cure."

Blaine shook his head. "I'll kill him before he can make it."

Liv paused, expression darkening. She made her voice as threatening as she could. "Don't you lay a finger on him."

He laughed. "Or what?"

Liv racked her brain, then said the only thing she could think of. "Or I won't help you." She regretted the words the instant they left her mouth.

Blaine grinned. "So you will help? You'll pretend to be my girlfriend?"

She held up a hand. "Only if you leave Ravi alone." Then she added in quick succession, "And you have to stop turning people. And you can't kill anyone. And you can't sell brains."

Blaine looked like he felt she was unreasonably asking a lot of him. "Anything ELSE?"

"Not right now, but I'm keeping the option open," Liv replied.

Blaine looked thoughtful. "Alright. So, in return for you pretending to be my girlfriend, I will not hurt Ravi, not kill anyone, not turn anyone, and not sell brains. Right?" He had check the items off on his fingers. Liv nodded. Blaine sighed. "You really know how to take the fun out of being a zombie."

Liv crossed her arms in front of her chest and rasied an eyebrow at him. "It's not as if you're doing a bang-up job yourself. At least I'm not losing my humanity."

"Fuck humanity. Humanity is overrated," Blaine scoffed, waving a hand in the air as if to shoo the idea away.

Liv shook her head at him, incredulous. "I really don't believe you." Her voice turned to be all business. "Whatever. I only want to do this once, so let's get it right the first time."

"Once? I'm not agreeing to that." Blaine looked at her like he thought she was being ridiculous. "You want me to not do everything I was planning on doing for this. I need it done as many times as possible to get this lady to leave me alone."

Liv snorted. "That's not happening."

"Then I guess I'll go find Ravi." Blaine turned to leave.

"Wait!" Liv quickly exclaimed. He stopped, back still facing her. She hated helping Blaine with something so ludicrous, but she couldn't let her friend be killed over it, either. And all of the other horrible things Blaine threatened to do, things that she KNEW he could do? Liv couldn't let him do any of them. And what was anyone else going to do? Nothing. They couldn't do anything. She was a zombie, just like he was, so she knew she could stop him if she had to. She had to be able to stop him.

"Fine. I'll do it," she said, resigned. Blaine turned to face her, grinning. Then she quickly held up a finger towards his face and added, "But only because you're leaving me with no choice! And if you take even one step out of line, I WILL kill you." She hoped she wasn't lying. She was counting on it.

Blaine's grin got wider. "Perfect. Let's get started."


	3. Consequences of Missing the Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They figure out the story. Just not the important part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos! You all rock! ^__^* <3
> 
> I watched the scene from 1x02 again, and I think Blaine called the woman he turned Jackie. So that's what I'm calling her, too. XD
> 
> I haven't seen 1x03 yet, so please don't spoil it for me! Thanks!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :D

Liv angrilly sat down. She flung her right leg over her left, and waved a hand at him. "This is all your idea. So tell me what the plan is."

Blaine nodded and hopped up on the examination table, casually sitting next to the corpse there. "Right. Well, I think we need to know what each other likes, and what we don't like, and that'll make our story more believable. Once that's done, we need the actual story about how we met and some dating anecdotes, we can try out acting like we're lovers-"

Liv gagged.

Blaine gave her a look. "-and that should be enough to sell it."

"I don't think it'll be that hard. We just need to go in there, put on a show for her, and then leave. Easy. No need to get all friendly." Liv shrugged. "Why make it more complicated than it needs to be?"

"Because she won't buy it. We need to make it really seem like we're together," Blaine explained.

Liv nodded. "And we will be together. In the same room."

Blaine waved a hand to the side. "That won't be enough to convince her."

"It will be," Liv replied.

"It won't," Blaine insisted. "She's dead-set on this notion that me and her are destined to be together. Something about how me turning her means I want her to be with me forever."

Liv laughed, unkindly. "She actually said that?" Blaine nodded, and Liv laughed again. "That's ridiculous. You two deserve each other."

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "Seeing as how the entire point of our deal rides on that NOT being the case, you better hope you're wrong."

Liv glared at him. "Hey, I'm helping you. THAT was our deal."

"If she doesn't buy it, then we don't have a deal," Blaine stated matter-of-factly.

"That's not fair. I can't control if she buys it or not." Liv rolled her eyes. "You're asking for the impossible."

Blaine shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'm asking you to try. And you CAN control if she buys it, by learning what I like and don't like and by coming up with-"

"Dating anecdotes. Yeah, yeah, I heard you." Liv sighed. "Alright then. Since I can't have you going around murdering people, I guess you better tell me some things you like. Other than selling drugs and harassing women you don't know at parties."

Blaine somehow managed to look offended. "I'll have you know that I don't even count those as hobbies. And 'murdering people'?" He tried to imitate Liv's tone. "You make it sound so BAD."

Liv gave him a look. "It IS so bad, Blaine."

Blaine waved a hand in the air to get rid of the idea. "It doesn't matter what you think. What matters is you do a good enough job to convince Jackie that we're together so that she leaves me alone. Then we both can get what we want."

Liv nodded along with his words, already sick of hearing the same thing voer and over. Then she asked, "Jackie? Is that her name?"

"Yeah," Blaine answered.

"How old is she? Where does she live?" Liv wanted to get more of an idea of who she was dealing with.

Blaine replied, "I don't know, maybe in her fifties? She lives in the rich part of town. She's got a killer place, you'll see it when we go over there."

Liv held up her hands. "Back up. We're meeting her at her place?"

Blaine nodded. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?! That's a terrible idea. It's all a terrible idea," Liv replied, shaking her head.

Blaine's brow furrowed. "What? Why?"

"Because it's too soon! And it makes absolutely no sense that you would bring your girlfriend to this lady's house!" Liv was still shaknig her head.

"No, it's perfect. She wanted to meet you, so I said I'd bring you over. And if we get this over with tomorrow, then the whole thing will be done with by then. It's perfect." Blaine sounded certain.

Liv looked at him like he had two heads. "We are not going to be able to pull off being a couple by tomorrow."

Blaine waved his hand down in her direction, indicating she shouldn't worry about it. "Sure, we are. Besides, it makes sense. We're supposed to already be together, so it's not like she's gonna think we need time to prepare. Or at least, she SHOULDN'T think that."

"But we DO need time to prepare," Liv insisted.

"Yeah, but SHE can't know that," Blaine replied. Liv opened her mouth to say something, but Blaine shook his head. "No. Listen. This will work. We just need to get started now. Right now. So stop arguing with me and let's start."

Liv sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine. What do you like to eat?" Blaine smirked. Liv groaned. "Besides brains. Idiot."

Blaine shrugged. "It doesn't matter. We're all zombies. She knows that. She knows we eat brains."

"You told her I was a zombie?" Liv asked, annoyed.

"Yeah. As part of the whole 'I already have an undead lover' thing," Blaine explained.

Liv shook her head at him, continuously shocked by his level of thoughtlesness. "Why would you do that? What if I said no?"

"You were gonna say yes. Besides, I already gave her your info. She could see that you're a zombie for herself whenever she felt like dropping by." Blaine hopped off the examination table.

"Perfect," Liv said sarcastically.

"It was win-win." Blaine grinned.

Liv snorted. "Yeah, for you."

Blaine nodded once. "Exactly." Liv rolled her eyes, but he continued, "Anyway, I don't think what foods I like are important."

"Just tell me anyway," Liv replied impatiently.

"Fine. Hamburgers and fries. You?" Blaine began to pace slowly back and forth in front of Liv, wrapped up in his thoughts.

"Italian food was my favorite," Liv answered. "Favorite color? Mine's red."

Blaine replied, "Grey, black, blue... Whatever." He shrugged.

Their conversation continued on like this for a while. At the end of it, Liv was confident that she knew all of the facts she could about Blaine, and he for her. What she was not confident about was their ability to actually pull this off. Sure, she could tell you what Blaine's birthday was, what shows he liked, what sport he bets on, but so what? All of that was useless if they couldn't act like they were dating. And Liv was quite certain that they would not be able to pull that off.

Besides, it wasn't like Jackie even knew any of this stuff about Blaine. Liv thought it was a waste of time to learn all of it when there wasn't anyone else who would know it. She could just wing it.

When she told Blaine what she thought, he scoffed at her. "It doesn't matter that she doesn't know it. You're the one that needs to know it. You're the one I'm supposed to have been dating, so we WOULD know all of this stuff."

"But it's all irrelevant if we don't work on acting like we're together," Liv pointed out. "It's all stuff any of your friends would know."

"I told you, I don't have any friends," Blaine said, quick and insistent.

"And I saw you hanging out with those guys in the alley. Don't lie to me," Liv snapped back.

Blaine was still for a moment, then shook his head. "I don't want to talk about that. Let's work on our story."

An hour later, after much discussion which was really just arguing, it had been decided that they met at a club six months ago. The club was Blaine's idea, and the only one that Liv thought she could work with. Having met six months ago was Liv's idea. She was worried that they might forget information about each other, because learning a bunch of statistics quickly meant the information didn't stay in your brain for too long. Six months was long enough of a time for it to be believable that they might be head over heels for each other, but short enough that it made sense if they didn't know every little detail. Blaine was hesitant, saying that six months was too generic of a time frame, but eventually he agreed.

"But if she doesn't buy the six month thing, don't say I didn't tell you so," Blaine said, clearly thinking it wouldn't work.

Liv waved his worry away with her hand. "People date for six months. It'll work. I'm more concerned about how we act. Which we still haven't gone over."

Blaine nodded. "I know, I know." He looked at his watch. "Shit, I gotta go."

Liv's eyes widened. "What? You can't go!"

Blaine gave her one of his charming grins. "Don't worry. We got this. I'll pick you up here at five tomorrow, okay?"

Liv shook her head. "Not okay, Blaine!"

As he backed up towards the door, he put his hands together indicating she should forgive him. "I'm sorry, but don't worry, it'll be fine."

"It won't be fine!" Liv got up and started following him towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Blaine turned around and jogged out.

"Blaine!" Liv called after him, but he was already gone.

This was going to be a disaster.


	4. Consequences of Threats and Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravi's concerned, naturally. So is Liv. It's a concerning thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of the comments and kudos! You all rock! ^__^* <3
> 
> I haven't seen 1x03 yet, so no spoilers please! Thanks! XD
> 
> This is my fourth daily update in a row since I posted this fic (If you count the first chapter, which I'm totally gonna count! :P), and while I'd love to keep it up, I'm unable to make another update until Monday. So, happy Easter, happy Passover, and I hope you all have an awesome weekend! :D
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! :D <3

After Liv walked into the morgue at a few minutes before five o'clock the next day, she saw Ravi sitting as his desk working.

"Hey," she greeted, putting her purse down on the examination table.

"Hey." Ravi turned his chair around and stood up. "Wow, you look fancy. Where you off to? A zombie formal?" Ravi grinned, clearly thinking his teasing Liv about her pretend date with Blaine was hilarious.

Ravi knew perfectly well where Liv was going and what for. She had filled him in that morning after he asked her why she had to leave work early. He had repeatedly told her that it was a bad idea, and she kept insisting she didn't have a choice. She tried leaving out the part about Blaine threatening to kill Ravi, thinking that Ravi didn't really need to know that, but eventually she told him everything. Ravi was concerned, and rightfully so, but agreed that Liv was right. She was the only one who could take down Blaine if it came down to it.

"Ha ha," Liv replied dryly, and gave him an exaggerated eye roll. "You're hysterical."

"Aren't I, though?" Ravi quipped back.

Liv smirked. "This outfit would never fit in at a formal." She waved a hand down at her pressed pants and button-down shirt, indicating their very average appearance. She had intended to get changed into something prettier when she got home; that's why she had left work early. But she just stared at her closet, her mind a complete blank. Before she knew it, it was almost time to go. She grabbed the first thing she saw, changed as quick as she could, and left.

Ravi snapped and pointed at her. "You got me!"

They both laughed a little, nervously. Their laughter died off and as Liv shuffled her feet, Ravi looked down.

Ravi cleared his throat. "Liv, I-"

Liv shook her head and held up her hand. "Don't."

"No, listen," Ravi insisted. "You're doing me and a lot of other people a big favor here. You're saving us, and they don't even know it."

Liv shook her head again. "It doesn't matter."

Ravi took a step towards her. "Yes, it does. It does matter, Liv. Just... Just be careful, okay? I'm worried about you."

"I know. I will be. Thanks, Ravi." Liv smiled at him, trying to relieve some of his nerves. "It'll be fine. Don't worry."

"That really doesn't reassure me," Ravi replied.

"It wouldn't reassure me, either," Blaine cut in as he walked into the morgue. Liv and Ravi both turned to look at him. He continued, "Honestly, Liv, I hope your acting is going to improve in the car, otherwise we're screwed."

Liv glared at him. "The only reason we'd be screwed is because YOU left before we were finished last night."

Blaine smirked. "That's what she said."

Liv groaned and put her head in her hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that tacky?" Blaine asked, making a show of looking worried. Then he said, "Well, tough, you're supposed to love my humor."

"Give me your phone number," Ravi told Blaine. He got out his phone.

"At least SOMEONE loves my humor," Blaine stated. Then he looked at Ravi. "Why do you want it?"

Ravi pointed at Liv. "Because I want to make sure she's going to be okay, and that apparently means keeping tabs on you."

Blaine nodded towards Liv. "She doesn't even have my number."

"Give it to both of us," Liv replied, taking out her phone.

Blaine sighed. "It's tough being so popular."

Liv said, "Come on," and at the same time, Ravi said, "What is it?"

Blaine held his hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright." He gave them his number. "Give me yours, as well," he said to Liv and Ravi.

After Liv and Ravi gave Blaine their numbers, Ravi called Blaine's number. Blaine's phone rang. He wiggled it in his hand, showing them his phone.

"Why are you calling me?" Blaine asked.

Ravi replied, "To make sure the number you gave us was yours."

Blaine laughed. "Why wouldn't I give you my number?"

"Maybe because you threatened to kill me and you're taking Liv to God-knows-where and you're just looking for an excuse to screw us over even more?" Ravi said, trying not to get mad and basically failing.

Blaine laughed, then he aggressively took a step towards Ravi. He lowered his voice so that his reply was menacing. "If I wanted to screw you over, you'd be screwed."

Ravi took a step towards Blaine. "If you lay one finger one Liv, I'll-"

"You'll what, huh? What are you gonna do?" Blaine's eyes flashed red as he waited a moment for Ravi to reply.

Ravi opened his mouth to reply, but Liv shook her head at him, indicating for him to not take Blaine's bait.

Blaine sneered at Ravi. "That's what I thought." He turned his back on Ravi and looked at Liv. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," Liv replied. She got up in Blaine's space and pointed a finger in his face. "But if you start anymore fights with my friends, you're on your own."

Blaine smirked at her. "Noted." He held his hand out, sweeping it towards the door. "Shall we?"

Liv rolled her eyes at him, shook her head, and walked past him. Sure, now he was all charm, after Liv threatened him. Where was his charm when he was threatening everyone else?

"I'll see you later, Ravi," Liv said, waving bye to him on her way out.

"Be careful," Ravi replied, waving bye back.

"We will be," Blaine said as he put his hand over Liv's head to hold the door open for her. Then he guided Liv out the door by putting his hand on the small of her back.

As the door closed behind them, Liv walked quicker to put some distance between her and Blaine. "I can walk by myself," she snapped.

"I didn't say you couldn't," he replied simply.

They walked outside in silence, and when they got to Blaine's car, he reached in front of her to open the passenger side door for her. She glared at him.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Stop doing that," Liv answered, swatting his hand away and opening her door herself.

"No." Blaine walked around the car and got in the driver's seat. He looked at her. "We need to start acting like we're dating if Jackie's going to buy it."

"We're not dating, Blaine. You don't have to put on a show when she's not around," Liv said, looking out her window, away from Blaine.

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I do. It's to get you in the mood."

"Ew. Gross," Liv muttered.

"Like it or not, you're gonna need to do it," Blaine replied, starting the car.

Liv snorted. "Threatening my friend is not a good way to put me 'in the mood', Blaine."

Blaine smirked at her. "Oh yeah? So what is a good way to put you in the mood?"

Liv turned to face him, and shook her head at him. "You're unbelievable," she replied, incredulous.

"I've heard that before." Blaine swung his arm over the back of her headrest and looked behind him, and then he quickly backed out of the parking space and left the lot.

The drive to Jackie's place was mostly silent. Liv went back to looking out the passenger side window, and Blaine was focused on driving. But Liv wasn't concerned with Blaine right now; she was thinking about Major. All of the times they spent laughing together and all the dates they went on, that was what Liv would have to re-enact if she wanted Jackie to believe that she was head over heels for Blaine. Liv just wasn't sure that she was actually able to act like Blaine was Major. They were so different in so many ways. Would it even make sense for Liv to hold on to Blaine's arm, like she always did with Major? The idea offended her. She didn't want to replace Major. She still wanted him back. But what she wanted had to take a backseat to the safety of the people in her city.

Liv shook her head at herself. Her inner voice was starting to sound like Batman. She had to pull it together.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Huh?" Liv replied.

"You seem distracted. What's on your mind?" Blaine asked.

The question seemed harmless, but Liv knew Blaine well enough to know that nothing about him was harmless.

She shook her head. "I'm just thinking about how I'm going to act."

"Oh yeah? Have you figured it out?" Blaine made a left turn.

Liv nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to act like you're my ex."

"Do you think that's going to work?" Blaine glanced at her then put his eyes back on the road.

"It should. I was supposed to marry him," Liv replied, glancing at Blaine. For some reason, she wanted to see his response.

Blaine's eyes widened slightly. "Wow." He glanced at her again. When he saw her looking at him, he smiled a little and looked back at the road. "That's big. What happened?"

Liv was quiet for a while. She thought about all of the weeks of just barely getting by after she was turned, all of the events that led up to her breaking off her engagement with Major, and everything that happened since she started trying to help people. A lot had happened, but she knew the answer to his question before she let her thoughts wander.

She turned to look back out the window. "You," Liv replied, simply.

There was no reply from Blaine, not that she was expecting one.

In another few minutes, Blaine turned off the car. "We're here," he said, opening the car door and getting out.


	5. Consequences of Thinking Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The walk up to Jackie's condo somehow manages to seem longer than it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, everyone! It's only been six days, but I feel like it's been longer! XD
> 
> Sorry about the wait that was longer than I said it would be. I had a bunch of stuff to do over the past few days. Same goes for the next few days, too. I am trying to update as much as I can though. No worries! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos! You all are awesome. <3
> 
> Also, I decided Jackie's last name will be Angora. IDK. XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! ^__^*

Liv opened the door and got out of the car, looking around as she did so. They had pulled into a parking lot with manicured foliage. The building in front of her was a tall condominium complex, and it looked like living there would cost more than Liv made in a year.

"Wow," Liv said, voice flat. "You didn't tell me you landed a millionaire. Good for you."

Blaine got out of the car, a strained smile on his face. "Ha ha, good joke, HONEY." He rounded the car, put his hand on the back of Liv's shoulder as if to lead her towards the building, and then smiled and nodded at an elderly couple walking past that Liv hadn't seen. He slid his hand to her upper arm, intentionally squeezed it a little too hard, and then quietly said, "We don't know who she knows. You need to be convincing, and you need to be convincing right fucking now."

As they approached the entranceway and Blaine held the door open for her with his other hand, Liv threw her head back in an exaggerated laugh. "Oh, honey, you're so FUNNY!" She patted his hand on her arm and then gripped his hand and tossed it off of her arm. "Really. HILARIOUS." Liv walked in and then looked at the doorman. She grinned and shook her head at the doorman, as if they were sharing an inside joke. "He has no conception of TIME and PLACE, you know? Always wants me to just STICK IT IN THERE!" Liv drew her hand back to wind it up, and then slapped Blaine's ass hard as he walked passed her.

Blaine yelped and jumped, putting a hand over his ass to rub it as he glared at Liv. Liv just smiled sweetly back at him. He shook his head, clearly torn between wanting to kill Liv and not knowing what he was going to do with her, and then he proceeded to the front of the doorman's counter. He made a show of laughing it off as he walked.

Before Blaine could talk, the doorman cleared his throat, looking positively unimpressed. "Who exactly are you here to see?"

"Oh, our friend Jackie," Liv replied, smiling and nodding at the doorman as she wrapped both her hands around Blaine's arm.

Blaine put on his most charming smile and quickly added, "Jackie Angora, in 1423. I'm Blaine, and this is my girlfriend Liv. She's expecting us."

The doorman looked extremely doubtful, but he picked up the phone to dial Jackie's room nonetheless. "Hello, Ms. Angora. I have a Blaine and Liv here for you." He paused. "Ah, yes." He paused again. "Very good, madam." There was another pause. "Of course." He hung up the phone and looked at them. "She's expecting you. It's number twenty-three on the fourteenth floor. I'll let you up." The doorman reached under his counter for a moment, and then the elevator behind him let off a ding. "Please enjoy your visit."

Liv grinned at him. "Oh, we WILL." She gave the doorman a huge wink and then walked towards the elevator.

Blaine shook his head and laughed, hooking his thumb around to point after Liv. "Isn't she a riot? My girlfriend, the kidder." He walked away, giving the doorman a little wave. "Thanks." As Blaine approached the elevator, he gave Liv a death glare.

After they walked in the elevator, Liv pressed the button for floor fourteen. The doors closed and she looked over at Blaine, putting her hands up to indicate she didn't know what he wanted from her. "Wasn't I a gem?"

"Oh, you were something all right." Blaine shook his head, then turned around to face Liv. He tilted his head down and walked closer to Liv, trying to intimidate her.

Liv took a few steps back, but the elevator was only so big. Before she knew it, Liv was backed against the wall of the elevator. She put a hand out to stop Blaine, but it didn't work. Her hand pressed against his chest as he came closer. Blaine stopped about two inches from her. He put his hand on the wall behind her and leaned over her more.

"What, God, what?!" Liv said in a somewhat quiet tone that was a mix of surprise, confusion, and concern.

"If you EVER pull that stunt again, or anything like it, this little arrangement of ours is over," Blaine threatened in a low voice.

Liv let out a little laugh. "You're the one that asked ME for help, remember?"

"You're the one that doesn't want me to eat Ravi, remember?" Blaine replied. He smirked. "I could just kill Jackie. That would take care of that problem."

Liv swallowed nervously. "No, no. No. I'll try harder, okay? You don't have to kill anyone."

Blaine laughed. "Of course we have to kill people. We're zombies, Liv."

"You're better than that, Blaine," Liv replied. The words were out of her mouth before she realized she had said them. But after she had said them, she realized that they were true. She did think Blaine was better then killing people. Sure, he was a drug dealer who hung out with gangsters. But that didn't mean he had to be a murderer, too. Liv knew logically that he had already killed Jackie. Maybe he had killed others. Maybe he hadn't. It extended beyond that, too. Maybe all of his threats were fake. Just things he said to get her to help him. She doubted it, but she had to hope for the best. She was working with him, after all. Besides, she couldn't be sure that anything out of his mouth was true. He was a liar. And yet, she still knew that what she said was the truth. She did think he was better than that.

Blaine was looking at her a little oddly, and it gave Liv a strange feeling that she wasn't comfortable with. She felt her hand become a bit more relaxed against Blaine's chest as she was looking up at him. His eyelids lowered a little, and his neck moved down a bit, bringing his head closer to hers. She felt her eyelids closing a little and her own head tilting up to meet his.

Then the elevator made a ding noise, and they both looked over to see the doors open and a family standing there, waiting for the elevator. They looked shocked to find Blaine and Liv in the elevator. Liv realized what the two of them must look like and couldn't blame them. The mother covered the eyes of her young son.

Liv saw that they were on floor nine. Of course. It would have been too easy for Blaine and Liv to just leave. Of course they were forced in this awkward situation now.

Liv stepped to the side of Blaine, and mumbled, "Sorry, excuse us."

The father shook his head. "We'll wait for the next one. We're going down anyway."

Liv nodded and reached forward to press the button for the doors to close. They did so, and the elevator continued upwards.

Liv ran a hand down her face. "You're making me insane, Blaine."

Blaine laughed and shook his head. "Then don't try to kiss me."

"What?!" Liv spun around and pointed her finger in his face. "YOU were about to kiss ME."

"That's not how it looked from where I was standing," Blaine replied, unable to stop himself from smirking.

Liv let out a disgusted noise. "Then you need glasses." She crossed her arms over her chest, and then for good measure, she muttered, "Asshole."

Blaine raised an eyebrow, amused. Liv pointedly ignored him.

The elevator dinged again, and the doors opened on floor fourteen. They walked out of the elevator. Liv immediately made a left, mostly because it was the opposite direction of where Blaine was standing. After looking at two door numbers in a row, she realized she had went the wrong way. She stubbornly turned around and walked back the other way. Blaine was waiting by the elevator, still looking amused.

When she passed by him, she held up her hand and said, "Don't."

Blaine followed her, grinning. "I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Sure," Liv replied. She snorted and shook her head.

All of this pretend dating stuff with Blaine was really messing with her head. Liv wanted it to be over as fast as possible. The sooner she met Jackie, the better, as far as she was concerned. That meant she could be rid of Blaine. After all, he may not be a murderer, but that didn't mean he was a good guy.

She stopped in front of door 23. She looked to her side at Blaine as he approached. He was a liar. She reminded herself not to forget it.

"Are you ready?" Blaine asked her, coming up to stand by her side.

Liv shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Blaine nodded and knocked on Jackie's door.


End file.
